changing the conversation

Several months ago I posted about my excitement about A [Baptist] Conference on Sexuality and Covenant. (You can watch the speakers by clicking on the link). I was able to attend the conference in Atlanta and I think I can finally wrangle my thoughts in enough to make a coherent post.

First of all, let me say a huge thank you to Chris Boltin for his wonderful gift! I would not have had the opportunity without your generosity. 

Thank you also to those who put their minds together to plan this event. I appreciated the worshipful approach to a conversation that tends to make people squirm. 

I would like to say again that this conversation was not solely about homosexuality. The topic of sexuality opens up a whole can of worms that cannot be controlled. I think the best way for me to approach this is to highlight some of my favorite ideas gleaned from speakers and my time spent in my covenant group processing. 

1. Thank you to Jenell Paris for introducing the idea that our sexuality is not the sole identifier of who we are. Actually, our best identifier is that we are created as beloved children of God. 

2. Thank you Cody for your words. We as heterosexual couples have much to learn about covenant and lasting relationships from our homosexual friends. 

3. I was struck by the main idea of Lindsay Comstock's presentation. How do we know, and how do our youth know, what bad sexuality is if they haven't learned about good sexuality? 

4. What is covenant? What kind of sexual exploration is allowed outside of covenant?

Here are a few of the other issues that I came away thinking about:

What about the "older adult" population? (The largest rate of STD's and growing is in people over the age of 60, I believe). 

If I become intolerant of the intolerant am I just becoming a part of the vicious cycle which I hate?

When can the church become a place where we can talk about issues such as infertility and fear of sexual relationships? How do you flip a switch when you get married/join in covenant with another to make exploration of sexual acts suddenly "be okay"? 

How does our very language limit our reality? 

I think my favorite idea from the entire weekend is this: 

It is much like the question, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? Instead I ask to the older adults in CBF life who fear this conversation so deeply, what would you say if you knew you could come to the table of open dialogue and the choice for you to walk away, to withhold your funds was gone? It is not an option for you to leave this time. I recognize that CBF was birthed from conflict and believed we were standing up for justice. Here we are again at a crossroads wanting to lead the way to fight for justice, to see people as God sees them, to press the issue of loving our neighbors in a more intimate way. I wonder sometimes if fear of "the conversation" comes because you grew up in fear of your own sexuality. 

The time is now to change our conversation. At this conference a model was presented for how to approach a dialogue in a loving, confidential and God-like way.