In 2008 I went on a trip that changed my life. I just did not quite know how it would change my life at the time. I thought coming to seminary as a dual degree student was the exact right path for me, but I am starting to sense that maybe I was wrong in that assumption.
Over the past couple of days chance meetings with people, song lyrics, deep conversations and a general longing and wrestling in my soul have caused me to step back from where I am and to listen more deeply to the ways that God has shaped me to be me.
I found myself in old journals that I'd written. I re-read old blog posts. I found myself frustrated over what seemed like a simple admittance essay. I couldn't stand the restless longing I felt inside of me anymore.
This morning I decided to sit on my porch and read through a devotional I had been given as a gift when Caleb and I got married. Today's scripture passage was from Luke 11:33-36. The last part appears in The Message translation like this: "Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don't get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room."
You see, I didn't realize that I had not been letting the light in. I have been struggling in darkness with my call from God. As I was sitting in silence a man walked by and asked me, "Do you have a light?" Which I mistook for, "Do you have light?" I looked at him in amazement and then realized he was waiting for a response. I told him no and he walked on.
But I thought to myself, "Okay God, I'm listening."
Come and journey with me as I search for a new and maybe different path so that I can better let the light in to my life.
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